2020 – ENOUGH ALREADY

It was in March of this year that we last posted on our blog. As is the case for most people, much has changed in our lives. This will not be a long posting, but will be a short synopsis of our life during this crazy year known as 2020. I have a feeling that dictionaries will define the word “shitshow” simply and concisely. 2020. That’s all that will be needed. 2020.

The followers of our blog know that we didn’t winter in Costa Rica at the end of 2019 because Deb’s mom, Alta, had been diagnosed with lung cancer. We stayed here in order to support her as she went through both chemo and radiation treatments. This was an easy decision for us. We made it not out of obligation, or a sense of duty to the family. This was Deb’s mom going through treatment to combat a terrible illness. It was a decision based in love, the love Deb felt for her mother.

Her mom was able to go back to living in her apartment for a bit after her treatments. This however was short lived. Her condition worsened, and it was discovered she was also suffering from pulmonary fibrosis. She then moved into a full care unit which treated her with all of the respect and dignity she deserved. In the final days of July, after fighting and never complaining of any pain during those long months, Alta passed away. Her struggle was now over, and hopefully peace came to her. Deb and both of her siblings knew that day was fast approaching, but the finality of it was still very hard. Deb’s sister Bobbi called on their mom’s birthday in October. Both of them cried and laughed while reminiscing about their mom. It was good therapy, I’m sure, for them to talk and support each other on their mother’s birthday. The holidays this year will not be the same. They will be emptier without her being here. Our lives are not the same because of her. They are fuller because she was here.

As if this wasn’t hard enough to deal with for those many months, my mother was also having health problems. She had been in the throes of dementia for a couple of years, and her memory was basically completely gone. She had no idea who my younger brother was, even though he visited her quite often. She had no appetite, and often took nourishment in the form of liquid protein and vitamins. I had not been able to visit her for more than a year and a half. By the time we had the opportunity to go to Chicago to see her, the quarantine due to the pandemic had been put in place. Seeing her during these times was almost impossible. My brother only got to see her once or twice a week, outside, for one hour each time. If the weather was bad, or her condition didn’t allow for it, the visit would be cancelled. While I knew the logic behind not going to Chicago, it was not easy at all for me. This was my mom, and she was not doing well at all. About 8 weeks after Deb’s mom passed away, my mother passed too. It is still unreal to think that our mothers would both die just weeks apart. During a pandemic. We have talked about these losses to our families. Between them there were 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 17 great grandchildren, and 1 great great grandchild. Their love and the memories 0f them live on. Peace.

Deb also lost her favorite aunt during this time. Her aunt Ruby, who we got our cabin from, passed away about 6 weeks before Alta. She was a beautiful, graceful woman. And in the last 2 weeks, my cousin Larry also passed on. He was a gentle, kind man that Deb really enjoyed seeing. Peace to them and their families.

Enough writing about the departures we have experienced during this year.

Deb and I are renting a townhouse in a suburb of the twin cities. It’s very nice, very comfortable, and in a great location. We are less than 10 minutes from our son Erik and his family. About 30 minutes from our daughter Kara and her family. It is a little over an hour from our cabin. We like it here, but never thought we would be spending 95% of our days IN the townhouse. It’s a good thing we like each other. At least I think Deb still likes me. I’d ask, but maybe I don’t want to know the answer! LOL. We miss Costa Rica. Two winters in a row! We will see what transpires after the Covid quarantine is over and things settle down and a sense of normalcy returns. We hope to return to doing some traveling. Where, when, and for how long is yet to be determined of course. At some point though, Costa Rica will be stamped in our passports once again. We really do miss it.

Our youngest grandson is almost 14 months old, and is joy to be around. Happy. Healthy. Walking like crazy. Hates shoes on his feet (Like his dad and grandpa!). Likes spicy food! Avocados. Blueberries. Books. Music. Hugs.

Our oldest grandson and our granddaughter are both staying home, schooling virtually because of the pandemic. He is very analytical, very smart. He was in STEM classes before the pandemic hit, and will probably be in them again when all of this passes. He plays Saxophone, loves and plays hockey, and is an avid reader. He is a kind, sensitive young man. Qualities that will carry him far in life.

Our granddaughter is unfortunately missing out on her freshman year of high school because of the quarantine. She understands why it is necessary to stay home and learn virtually, but it just seems unfair to us. Necessary. But still unfair. She also is very smart. Music is definitely her first love. She plays guitar, both acoustic and electric, keyboard, saxophone, and has bongo drums! Her parents are very supportive and enjoy the music that emanates from her room. Like her brother, she enjoys reading. And she also likes science, which might be the path she takes in life. Or music. Or something else. But no matter which way she goes, her great heart and caring for people and animals will be a strong part of her. It already is.

This was going to be a short posting. I can’t even keep my mouth shut when writing! Enough though. We wish we could spend time with all of you. We wish we could spend more time with our kids and grandkids. Deb wishes she could spend less time with me. Oh well, that’s 2020. A Shitshow!

Stay safe and healthy.

Pura Vida,
Deb & Tim.